Approaching birthday and thoughs on mortality
Sorry to bang on about my birthday again but now there are only 6 days to go and I’ll have new figures to write down when I fill in forms, I’ll have a new way to think about myself, and when that description comes up in a newspaper – a —year-old woman died on the side of a mountain today, or was killed in a car crash on the M25, or went down on an Eva Air flight on her way to Thailand this summer, that age will be mine. And that woman will be me.
I know that sounds morbid but we’re all going to die and none of us know when or how. That’s the inevitable reality we’re all hurtling towards, sooner or later. I don’t usually get into this spiraling morbidity, but you’re allowed to do or feel anything on your birthday and in the days running up to it. It’s my birthday so I’ll cry if I want to. I had a big milestone when my father died and it was a terrible shock and a door closing forever, no more birthdays for him. Strangely, rarely, he actually died on his birthday, November 14th. Then my sister died and that was an even more horrific shock and mortality blow, something I wll never get over. Now there’s my mum, coming up to 80, and I’ve told her she’s never allowed to die. And then there’ll be me. As Orson Welles said, “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”
Can you go to my site now -www.sharonfeinstein.co.uk – and check out Help Turtles and the Pick of the Best Page and let me know what you think. You might like to donate to the Turtle Campaign, it’s so precious, thanks
July 15th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I don’t even think about it… death. Just hope I don’t burn too many bridges before I croak.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Oh I think about it all the time. I keep thinking about how long I may have left. Even if I manage to avoid a fatal accident or other unforseen ending I wonder whether I will last as long as my parents. My mum died at 91 due to a major operation and my dad is still going strong at 95!
July 16th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
You should get down off that hirewire scaffolding and have more time in Ronnie Scotts drinking red wine and listening to jazz and having a laugh with your friends
July 16th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
hehehe lately the only mortality thoughts that I have are… if the world is really gonna end in 2012, I hope me and all the ones I love die before that happens.
when people who are close to us die we feel the vulnerability of death at the most. but maybe we should really start thinking about it, as to cherish the days we have left. hope you do that
July 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am
Hi Sharon
Your blog caught my attention because of your family name and then reading this I realised that your father must have been the doctor who saved my life twice was I was a young woman. During my extended hospital stays he introduced me to great literature. Spiritually, he left an indelible mark in my life. I understand, how great your loss must have been when he left. I am still in the same town in Zimbabwe.